Reclaiming Herself
by Crittab
Summary: What happens when Lorelai and Chris return from the hospital? Set after I'd Rather Be in Philadephia JavaJunkie One Shot.


Disclaimer- I don't own Gilmore Girls or any of that jazz- but I do own a pair of fuzzy socks that I love far too much.

**Reclaiming Herself**

Chris and Lorelai pulled into their driveway one after another in their separate cars. Christopher quickly exited his car, slamming the door behind him, leaving Lorelai in the driveway smoldering. She slowly took her leave from the jeep and followed him into the house, slamming the front door after she was in. Once she kicked off her shoes she found herself practically stomping into the living room where Chris had flopped on the couch with a pout.

"You are unbelievable, you know that?" Chris began while Lorelai stood over him with her arms crossed?

"Me?" she asked incredulously. She was about to respond with a biting comment when Chris cut her off.

"Yes, you," he stood up to face her "I left because of Luke. Because of this twisted relationship the two of you clearly still have, and I show up at the hospital to support you, my _wife_ and there he is. How the hell am I supposed to believe what you claim is true when the evidence is right there?!" his voice had nearly reached a full blown scream at this point, but Lorelai wasn't backing down.

"I didn't call Luke, Chris. I called you. I called you twenty-three times in fourteen hours, and you never, not once, answered your phone, or called me back. In the fourteen hours I was there waiting to see if my father was going to live or die, you weren't there. You weren't supporting me. And I didn't call Luke. When he found out he immediately recognized that we might need some support, and he showed up. He showed up, Chris. You didn't!" she spat back with even more ferocity than he. Chris' face sobered, if only for a moment. Her words had hurt him, but only because he knew there were, at least in part, true.

"I would have been there…"

"But you weren't, Chris. You weren't. I called and called and you wouldn't answer, you wouldn't come. I needed you Chris. I needed my husband, and you weren't there."

"But Luke was. And when I got there you seemed to have everything pretty much under control without me," he said in a low, biting tone. Lorelai felt the urge to scream. She wanted to yell and curse and attack everything that Chris had left in him, but she simply pursed her lips closed and took a deep breath.

"Luke helped us out, Chris. He ran errands for my mother. He brought us food. He was being a good friend," she said in a calm, but still very intense voice. Chris swallowed hard and fell back onto the couch. Lorelai slowly sat down, sure to stay a few feet away from his tired frame. "Where were you?" she asked softly. Chris sighed.

"Does that matter?" he asked. Lorelai looked at him, stunned.

"I can't believe you just asked me if it matters where you were when my father was possibly dying in the hospital and I had no way of getting a hold of you." Chris sighed heavily and shook his head.

"I don't want to get into this with you right now. Not after walking into the hospital and seeing you there with him."

"I don't really care whether you want to get into it or not, Christopher. You are my _husband_ and I am entitled to know where you were that kept you away from where I needed you to be!" Chris could feel the anger emanating off of her body, and the thought of telling her the truth scared him. He forced himself to look her in the eyes, and knowing he had no choice but to come clean, he told her, knowing what the consequences would be.

"I was at a friend's house," he said quietly. Lorelai raised an eyebrow, urging him to continue. "Her name is Carol. She's a woman I know from college." Chris couldn't make eye-contact with Lorelai, which allowed her the knowledge that he had done more than just sleep.

"You went to another woman's house," she said, processing what he'd told her.

"Yes," his voice was abashed and ashamed.

"You left here because you Thought I Might have some feelings for the man I almost married, and you went to another woman's house?"

"Yes." His response came in a low steady tone to counter hers which was rising. Lorelai felt as though she would burst, but forced her voice to be calm.

"Did you sleep with her?" she asked, her voice choking slightly. Chris sighed deeply and looked from his hands, to her, and then back down. Finally he made eye-contact.

"I'm so sorry, Lorelai," he whispered. Lorelai stood up quietly and turned to face him.

"Get out," she said in a hushed tone.

"Lorelai…"

"Get the hell out of my house," ferocity began to fill her voice. Chris hesitated a moment before standing and facing her.

"I wish I could take it back."

"Just leave, Chris," she said, spitting his name out as though it left a bad taste on her tongue. Chris' gaze dropped to the floor. Slowly he stepped past her, grabbing his jacket and slipping on his shoes before leaving out the front door. Lorelai heard him start his car and pull out of the driveway before speeding off down the road.

All the while she stood by the couch, feeling tingles course through her body. Her breath became shallow as she began to lose control of her emotions. She fell back onto the couch and pulled a cushion up to her chest as she sobbed into it. She wasn't crying because he had cheated on her. She wasn't even crying because he had accused her of cheating on him. She was crying because she knew, deep down, that all of his accusations of her loving Luke were true, and now the moment when she needed Luke the most, was the moment when she absolutely couldn't have him.

Lorelai was awakened the next morning by the kitchen door opening and closing. She forced her eyes to open, and winced at the stinging sensation the previous night of crying had left her with. She was about to pull herself up and investigate when Emily walked into the living room.

"Lorelai?" she called, in her usual course voice. When she spotted her daughter on the couch all curled up in a ball with bloodshot eyes, her visage changed. She felt an uncommon sense of worry for her daughter's wellbeing that she wasn't accustomed to. Slowly she made her way to the couch and sat down next to her, taking one of her hands in her own. "Is he gone?" she asked, knowing the reason for Lorelai's tears were undoubtedly due to her husband's absence the day before. Lorelai nodded.

"I made him go," Lorelai explained in a soft, hoarse voice. She expected Emily to come back at her with a disapproving retort, but was surprised when the older woman said nothing. She felt the need to tell her what had happened, which she was unaccustomed to when it came to her mother. Slowly she began to tell her the story. She told her all about the letter for Luke, and the accusations Christopher had made. She told her about the dozens of phone calls, and the way Chris reacted to Luke being there. Finally, she told her about Chris cheating, and how awful it made her feel to know that he could be so hypocritical and still feel that he had the right to come after her about Luke. All the while, Emily just listened. Finally, when the story was complete, she spoke again.

"I know it doesn't seem like it, Lorelai, but I support you. And what Christopher did was completely out of line, and sickening, and I'm proud that you had the courage to make him leave." Lorelai looked up at her mother, flabbergasted. She looked down at their still entwined hands and gave them a little squeeze and a smile.

"Thanks, Mom. That means a lot," Lorelai said softly. She pulled herself up into a seating position, finally realizing that Emily must have come for a reason. "Wait, why are you here? Is dad okay?" she asked, suddenly fearing the worst. Emily soothed her worries quickly.

"He's just fine, Lorelai. Not to worry. I just came by to see how you were doing. I noticed that things seemed a little off with you last night, and I was worried." Lorelai smiled, not expecting her mother to be so caring.

"Well, as you can see, all is not well in Lorelailand. But thank you for coming by, Mom," Lorelai said with a smile. Emily didn't seem satisfied however.

"You mentioned that Chris felt threatened by Luke," she said.

'And here it comes,' Lorelai thought to herself. She nodded to her Mother. "Yea, he said that I still had feelings for him."

"Well, do you?" Emily asked, returning to her old self. Lorelai sighed and shrugged, not wanting to debate the prospect of a 'Luke and Lorelai' with her Mother, the eternal anti-Luke.

"I don't know, Mom." Her response left Emily unsatisfied.

"You know, Lorelai, what Luke did yesterday was far beyond the call of duty for someone's _ex_ fiancée," she began. Lorelai was about to complain about her Mother's insinuations, but was cut off, "I was impressed with him. He showed that he was a dutiful man, and that he was someone you could count on, no matter the circumstances." Lorelai was surprised by her Mother, for what seemed like the thousandth time in the past few moments.

"What are you saying, Mom," she asked. Emily shrugged and stood up.

"Oh, I don't know. I've just been thinking to myself an awful lot in these past several hours. I've been thinking that if this man, whom you have loved, and I don't doubt that you still do love, is willing to go out of his way and put his life on hold for you, and your own husband can't return your calls, then maybe the diner man wasn't such a bad choice in the first place." Emily's words were entirely true, and Lorelai knew that in her heart. She sighed and stood up, pulling her Mom into the first hug they'd had in a long time. It took Emily a moment to react, not recognizing the feeling of a hug from her daughter. When Lorelai pulled away she had a smile on her face.

"You're a smart woman, Emily Gilmore." Suddenly Lorelai ran to the front door and pulled on her coat and shoes before racing out into the street, leaving a slightly bewildered, but satisfied nevertheless Emily in her wake. Emily picked up the cushion Lorelai had been holding and replaced it in its rightful home at the end of the couch before turning on her heels and heading out the door she had come in through.

As Lorelai ran through town she couldn't' help but think that this was way more exercise than she would ever need on a Thursday morning. Her purpose kept her moving as fast as she could, however, and carried her to the door of the diner, which was nearly empty as the morning rush had ended nearly half an hour ago. Slowly she pushed the door open and stepped inside, fully aware of Luke's eyes on her as he watched, slightly confused, from behind the counter.

"How's your Dad?" he asked. Lorelai sat on one of the stools in front of him.

"He's okay. I mean, he's good. He's gonna be fine," she said, knowingly rambling. Luke wasn't sure what to say. He was happy that he and Lorelai were, apparently, back to a place where they were comfortable enough that she could come back into the diner.

"That's good to hear," he said. Lorelai smiled and nodded. She had had her entire speech planned in her head as she ran there, but now that she was there she was drawing a blank. Noticing her discomfort, Luke decided to do the proprietor-like thing, "Coffee?" he asked. She smiled widely and nodded exuberantly.

"Yes, yes. Coffee, please, now." Luke smiled at her excitement at the prospect of having Luke's coffee, and actually ordering it herself. He poured her the steaming brew and set it in front of her. She closed her eyes and took a long sniff of it, followed by a long drink, and another sniff, before settling her face in a satisfied smile. Luke couldn't help but laugh.

"Junkie," he said softly. Lorelai opened her eyes and laughed lightly.

"You can take the girl out of the diner, you can't take the need for coffee away from the girl," she said lightly, happy to be bantering with him once again. He smiled and sighed lightly.

"So, it's been a while since you've been in," he said, starting them on the path to a conversation about her intentions. Lorelai nodded her agreement.

"Too, too long, doll," she said softly. Luke couldn't help but smile. He enjoyed their familiarity, although it hurt to know that she belonged to someone else. Lorelai met his gaze with one of her own. "I kicked him out," she said softly. Luke's face turned from content to confused in a matter of seconds.

"You did what, now?" he asked, wondering if he had heard her correctly. She sighed deeply.

"Chris, I made him leave." Luke felt his stomach do a flip, but contained his excitement.

"Why?" was all he could mutter. Lorelai shrugged.

"I guess that's what you do when people cheat on you," she said, taking a casual sip of her coffee. She could tell from Luke's face that he was enraged.

"What?!" was his response. He couldn't keep down the anger welling in him, knowing that Chris had done something so horrible to someone as wonderful as Lorelai.

"He cheated on me. And right before that, he accused _me_ of cheating on _him_," she said with a self-depreciating chuckle. Luke looked both confused and furious at the same time.

"Why would he think something like that?"

"Because he found the letter I wrote for you," she answered very matter-of-factly. Understanding came over his face. "He accused me of still being in love with you, and of being with you behind his back," she continued.

"God, I'm sorry, Lorelai. I never expected it to cause trouble for you," he said, feeling a little bit guilty, but not being able to suppress the little amount of pride he felt for bringing and end to this charade.

"Well, it wouldn't have been so bad if Chris wasn't right," she said, finally bringing herself to the reason for her visit. Luke looked at her, stunned.

"What did you say?" he asked, his face covered in a look of shock. Lorelai sipped her coffee.

"He was right, Luke. I do still love you. I mean, I didn't cheat on him with you, but not even I can deny that I love you." He voice was so calm and nonchalant that Luke couldn't tell whether or not she was serious.

"What are you trying to do here, Lorelai?" he asked softly. She took a final gulp of her coffee and pushed it towards him, standing up. She put a few dollars on the counter.

"I just thought you should know," she said softly. She forced herself to make eye-contact with him. "I don't want you to think that I'm trying to pressure you into anything, because I'm not. But if you want to talk, you know where to reach me," she finished. She gave him a final smile before turning and leaving the diner, and returning to her life as the single, hopefully not for too long, and beautiful owner of the Dragonfly Inn, and the woman who everyone knew belonged to Luke Danes, even if he didn't know it yet.

That's all- I'm sure we can all fill in the blanks with our own happy Lorelai/Luke thoughts. Tell me what you think


End file.
